


One Can Only Take So Much

by CKennedy23901



Series: To Risk Hurt [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-09-16 17:38:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9282857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CKennedy23901/pseuds/CKennedy23901
Summary: How much pain and suffering can one person take? Sakura is beginning to understand just what her limits are. Will she find someone to help her pull her away from her limits before she does the unthinkable?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to FanFiction.net. This was my very first ever completed fanfiction so please let me know what you think. I am debating on continuing this story by making a sequel.

Chapter One

“Hey forehead, will you please come out and party with me? It will make you feel better.” She heard her best friend yell from her apartment door. She knew she needed to let go and get out of the house but she just couldn’t move past the pain. Once again, he left her and this time her promised her that he wouldn’t be coming back for her. He was kind and sweet with just enough of a bitter taste of harshness. He of course had to see if she was worth staying in the village for first. So, he screwed her and then knowing she would be devastated he decided that he should leave. Yes, that had hurt and she had gotten over that a while ago; but what was really eating at her was the pregnancy she had been left with. She tried to contact him to tell him he was going to be a father. All her messages had been returned still sealed. 

So, to cope she decided to do the impossible thing; she gave herself an abortion using her medical training. How could she face her friends now that not only was she impure but she had done the one thing she knew would make all of them hate her for. She just couldn’t do it; there was no way she could stay a shinobi and be a mother – not alone. She refused to ask for help and wanted to take care of it herself before anyone found out about it. She confided in no one – not her best friends, her sensei, or even her master, Lady Tsunade; the fifth Hokage of Konoha. How could she? She knew they would have not only disappointed in her for allowing Sasuke to use her for that one night; but she knew undoubtedly, they would have tried to convince her to be a mother.

There was no going back for her. She had decided to do something she would regret for the remainder of her life and it had broken her – no it shattered her. Sasuke had taken her broken heart with him when he left telling her that it was for the better and that he was damaged goods. He told her he just couldn’t stay in fear that he might try to kill her like he did all those months ago. And so, she had let him leave and watched as he walked away from her and the village for the final time. She threw herself into her work at the hospital and took as many missions as she could until she started to get so sick that she couldn’t keep anything down. That’s when she began to suspect she might be pregnant.

She called into the hospital and told everyone that she just had a stomach bug and needed some time to rest and get over it. All of her friends had tried to stop by to see her and help her feel better. But she would admit no one into her home. She would tell them she was feeling a little bit better but didn’t want to get them sick so they would respectfully leave. It didn’t take too long before everyone gave up and just hoped she would return when she was ready. She couldn’t believe she had fallen so far into her depression that she had ended the life of her – no their baby not even a week after finding out. That’s as long as, she would allow for Sasuke to try and care. After no luck, she just did it without a second thought. 

“Sakura, if you don’t come answer this door right now I’m going to go get Kakashi-sensei and Lady Tsunade to break down your damn door.” Ino yelled. “You can’t stay cooped up in there forever. Everyone misses you and its time. We all know you haven’t been sick that your hurting…” that was as far as she got before she noticed the blood leaking out from under the door. She tried to force the door open to get to her friend but was unable to. She deducted that she must have been sitting right behind it to keep her from getting in. Ino took off like a bat out of hell to try and get to Sakura’s living room window but found it stuck shut. However, she could see her friend with the knife still in her right hand from where not only did she slit her left wrist, following the vein up to her elbow but she noticed the half slit across her friend’s throat.

“Help. Someone help me. Get the Hokage here.” She continued to try to break in but she kept hitting resistance. That’s when she realized what she had done. There was no way she could break in if her friend’s warding just was in place and she knew she didn’t have the skills to break it. “Sakura,” She screamed just as Kakashi was walking by. He looked up and seen the terror and pain on Ino Yamanaka’s face. He jumped up to her and was about to ask her what was wrong. She pointed at the window. He took one look and felt the blood drain from his face. “She’s put up a warding jutsu. I’ve been trying to break it but nothing is working.”

“Ino, go get Tsunade. NOW!” He didn’t wait to see if she ran off he just quickly broke the warding jutsu and ran over to his student. He looked around for something to use to stop the bleeding when he spotted the note on the ground next to her. He didn’t read it until after he returned with two hand towels; one for her arm, one for her throat. He really hoped they weren’t going to be too late. He could see her color seeping out quickly as she continued to bleed out. He reached down and grabbed the note. He needed to know why she did this.

I’m sorry. I shall end my life just like I ended the life of my child.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Kakashi quickly stuck the very short suicide note in his pocket as he smelled Ino and Lady Tsunade approach him from the window. He turned to look at her just as she paled. “Kakashi get her to the hospital right now. I’ll meet you there. Ino,” she turned to look at the ashen faced kunichi. “I need you to get Sakura’s parents to meet us at the hospital and whatever you do AVOID Naruto. Until we get to the bottom of this he cannot know what was witnessed here.” She turned to look at Kakashi but he had already teleported himself and the bleeding girl to the hospital to wait for her. When she arrived he was waiting for her note in hand.

“Did you know?” she asked him. He shook his head no.

“I suspected though.” He told her with sad eyes. He had been watching over her from the rooftops on her orders once she had withdrew from her life. “I could smell him all over her but I just thought it might have been her clothes. I never once considered that she could be pregnant. I mean I could tell that she was upset about him leaving and had suspected that they had did it before he left. She wasn’t eating Tsunade; she stayed in bed crying and holding herself other than when she would go to the bathroom. I knew she was getting sick but like she told everyone I just thought she had a stomach bug.” He felt horrible. He knew her pain – maybe not the same pain but he knew how she felt when she tried to kill herself. He had been exactly the same way after his sensei had died. He would take on the most dangerous missions in order to try and obtain death.

“I should have done more. I could have went and talked to her instead of just watching over for her from the sidelines.” He felt like shit for not being able to prevent this from happening to her. He wished he could go back in time and prevent it from ever happening. “Can you save her?”

“I can heal her physical wounds, but I have no idea how to heal the mental scars that will have undoubtedly occurred. I don’t know what kind of a state she will be in.” She told him before entering the room and healing her. Very slowly the wounds started to close up and heal. “I’ve done all that I can. Watch over her Kakashi. I will try to get in touch with Sauske. Maybe he can help.” He snorted. He felt that it would be very unlikely that he would be able to repair any of the damages he had made her go through. “I’ll leave her in your care Kakashi. I trust you know what to do since you’ve had a similar incident.” He nodded; time for a new mission and he prayed that it doesn’t backfire on him.

 

She woke up feeling like shit. There was a constant beep that was really starting to annoy her and she just wanted it to go away. So, she was surprised when she tried to sit up and was forced back down. “Stay still,” growled a voice that she would have been able to place anywhere. She tried to turn her head and look at her sensei but found that it hurt too much. She tried to blink away the tears before he noticed but like always he seen them as if he was attuned to her emotions. “Does it hurt?” he asked her coldly and upset. She couldn’t figure out why he was being so cold and distant until she remembered what she did. She couldn’t believe it; she had failed. He quickly picked up on her mood as realization sunk in as to what she tried to do. “You promised me. You promised me that night that you wouldn’t consider this.” His voice had returned to normal other than the hurt that was clearly there. 

“Ka…” she tried to talk but couldn’t. She must have messed up her vocal cords when she cut into her throat. Unable to talk or see him she dejectedly looked down into her hand just waiting for the lecture she knew was about to come. He was right – she had promised him that first night she caught him outside her apartment snooping that she wouldn’t fall this far. That if she did she would talk to him. She had betrayed his trust in her. Her body language told him all he needed to know.

“Why didn’t you trust me enough to tell me?” he pulled her face up to look at him. She could see the hurt etched in his eyes. Had he not had his mask on she would have seen just how much her suicide had hurt him. “Do you have any idea how…” she made a movement with her right hand indicating that she wanted to write. He found a pen and pad and gave them to her. I was scared that you would think differently about me. He just shook his head. “Never.” I am so sorry Kakashi-sensei. I had meant to talk to you but Ino showed up at the door and just wouldn’t stop rambling. I just couldn’t take it anymore. The weight of what I had done was eating me alive. “Then why? You had people that would have helped you.” 

I just couldn’t. I couldn’t live with a child that would remind me of the heartache. I tried to contact him. I sent message after message for a week. That’s all I could afford to give him. I wanted to go back to my life; I just never realized how bad that it would mess me up. I killed my own flesh and blood. How could I go on knowing I’m murderer? She put down the pen and pad so that he could read it. Before he could say anything more she looked away from him. He wanted to help her. Just as he was about to say something her door opened revealing a very pissed off Tsunade. “Can you heal her vocal cords so I can talk to her without the use of this?” 

“Yes, I think I can manage that.” She walked up to the hospital bed and gently placed her chakra covered palm over Sakura’s throat and within two minutes was done. “There all better. Kakashi may I talk to you in the hallway?” She waited outside the door. “Is something going on between you and Sakura? I only ask because I heard the way you talked to her. Should I be worried?” He explained the situation to her as best he could and waited for her to retreat to her office before re-entering her room where he found her gone. 

“Fuck.” He didn’t feel like playing cat and mouse today. He had a good idea where to find her. He just hoped he could find her and convince her to get back into her room before Tsunade finds out that she like him had managed to escape. He set off to find her just as a nurse walked into the room to discover they were both gone and the window open.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Tsunade wasn’t sure what to make of the information she had got from him. She was furious with him but knew that she needed to talk to Sakura because something just didn’t feel right to her about his story. She knew that there was no way Sakura did not really know what was going on. She thought about the what had happened now more with the new information. It seemed to fit better that she would have reacted the way she did if she knew. Things started to fall into place. She was just about to call for Shizune when she burst through her office doors. “My Lady,” she quickly bowed and waited for the nod to speak. “Sakura and Kakashi have disappeared from the hospital. It looks like she took off and he followed.”

“Find Kakashi. Tell him to go home. I know where to find Sakura. He is to stay away from her until I figure out what I need him to do. Explain to him that if he doesn’t obey I will throw him back in ANBU and send him on a mission.” She didn’t wait to see if Shizune heard her or not; she had to get to Sakura before she tried to kill herself again. She headed to their secret training grounds hidden within Hokage Mountain. “Sakura.”

“My lady,” Sakura bowed her head waiting for the chastisement. Instead she felt her embrace her in a giant hug just as she started bawling her eyes out. “I’m sorry my lady. I know I should have come to you but I just didn’t know what to do. I knew if wasn’t real so when I found out I was pregnant I panicked. How can I face him knowing what I did?” Tsunade pulled the girl tighter to her and let her get it all out.

“Sakura, what you did was stupid. I really wish you would have come to me first.” She scolded her lightly. “Hey it’s going to be okay. I have told him to stay away or else I was going to put him back in ANBU on a mission.” She heard her intake in breath and turned around. “Kakashi… my office in 15 minutes.” He tried to stretch his hand out to Sakura but not only did she back away from him but Tsunade moved to block her from his view. They both heard the distinctive poof of him disappearing before she turned to look at the ashen faced and trembling girl behind her. 

“You can’t send him to ANBU. He’ll get himself killed.” Those were her last words before she passed out. Tsunade quickly picked the shaken girl up and took her back to her hospital room – which was under strict orders of no visitors other than the Hokage herself. She was surprised to find Kakashi not only on her office but in his old ANBU uniform. She sighed knowing fully well that the young kunichi was right. If she sent him out on a mission he wouldn’t come back if he had his way. She knew for her apprentices’ sake she could not do that. Just by looking at the both of them she could tell despite the fact they used to be teacher and student that they had become close. Dangerously close.

“Kakashi,” he heard her defeated sigh and felt his heart drop. “Take off that uniform and go home. I know what you are planning and I can’t let you do that. You are needed here.” He looked down dejected knowing full well who must have told her his plans; but that could only mean that she knew. She must hate him. He wasn’t sure if he could go on if she did. He begged her to send him somewhere. He knew he could just sit at home knowing she knew – he needed something to keep his mind off everything. So, with no other real choice she assigned him back to ANBU under the condition that he came and seen her before and after every single mission regardless of time. “Kakashi this is only trail bases. Soon you will need to start shadowing me as I have chosen you to be my successor. You will be the 6th Hokage of Konoha.”

“Please don’t let her hate me. I didn’t know what else to do I thought it might be better to do it that way. I never imagined what would happen.” He told her solemnly before heading to leave her office. “I don’t blame her; I had no right to do it. I was her teacher and I let myself get involved.”

“Does it hurt knowing she killed your baby?” she asked him. Scared of his answer and wanting to judge if their relationship might be fixable she watched his face carefully. She might not have been able to see his mouth under the mask but she could see the pain welling up in his eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I can be a father – at least not yet – so in a way I’m grateful. If she hadn’t had done it she would have eventually figured it out. No way a baby made by me would pass for an Uchiha anyways. It’s for the better.” Before she could say anything else he was enveloped in his grey smoke and then gone. She had hope for them and set out to plan her strategy and his first ANBU mission hoping that while he was gone things would work out for the better. 

Now she pondered about how to tell Sakura that despite her cry she had allowed him to return to ANBU. She knew there was no way she would forgive her if anything happened to him. She had seen the love in her eyes despite the fact she had known what he had done. She decided it was time to go see Sakura again and break the news.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

He knew he shouldn’t be there but he had to at least look at her one last time. He had first entered the hospital only to be told he wasn’t allowed to see her - Hokage’s orders; no one, not even her parents were allowed in to see her. So, instead he watched her from the rooftop of the building across the street. He went to quickly ducked when she turned and looked out the window but she didn’t even noticed him. She looked so lost and deep in thought at least until he noticed she was silently crying. Before his very eyes he watched the woman he loved shatter and break. He watched as she curled up on her right side turned away from the window and hugged herself tightly. He didn’t stay to notice that she had picked up his chakra flare and turn to look out the window.

She watched his back as he ran off in his ANBU uniform and felt her heart break even further. He must hate her for taking his child away from him and wished that she really had died. She couldn’t stand the anguish she felt knowing that she really wanted to have his child and ending its life before it even began. She wanted nothing more than to go back in time and change it all. But she knew she couldn’t bring that child into their world. All of Konoha would have scorned him for “hooking up” with an ex-student of his. She refused to let that happen to him – she did it for him because she knew he wasn’t ready to be a father yet. “I’m so sorry Kakashi. Forgive me.”

“If you knew it was him why did you let it happen Sakura?” Tsunade asked from the doorway. She had also noticed Kakashi’s chakra and wanted to see her pupil’s reaction to him in the ANBU uniform.

“Because I love him and I knew he had good intentions.” She sighed and looked back out the window as it started to rain. “I know it was selfish of me to let him do it. I knew how he felt about me and I knew he had doubts about us being together. I let him get out his frustration and I let mine out. It wasn’t Sasuke I seen that night making love to me; it was him.” She took a breath to calm herself before conitinuing, “I did it for him you know. I knew he was scared of what the village would think and eventually the truth would have came out when I gave birth. They would have shunned him. I wasn’t ready for a baby and neither is he.”

“You know he feels the same way. He doesn’t blame you at all,” she told her. “I know you didn’t want me to send him but he needs this Sakura. He needs to be away from the village and you. He begged me.” She knew. “He doesn’t want you to hate him.”

“HATE HIM? He is the one who should be hating me.” She told her flabbergasted. “I never should have let it happen. I’m scared for him and what he’ll do to himself.”

“Go Sakura, go to him and show him.” She told her, “But before you go there’s something you should know.” She handed her two small pictures before walking out the door. Sakura’s hand instantly hovered over her womb where she could just barely detect a small heartbeat. She hadn’t killed their baby after all. She took a moment to weep before getting up out of the bed and into her clothes. Then like she did earlier she took off out the window into the approaching storm.

She tried his apartment first but found it not only devoid of him but it looked like he hadn’t been there in days. His dishes were all piled up in the sink and clothes were strewn everywhere. His Icha Icha books were trashed form where he had pulled out pages after pages. She didn’t think twice before she took off to the training grounds which is where she found him. He had been doing a fairly good job of suppressing his chakra but she knew him like no one else; he could never hide from her. She took a moment to watch his deadly moves as he went full force not even caring what he destroyed.

“Kakashi…” she whispered knowing that with his enhanced senses he would hear her. He froze up and willed himself not to turn and look at her. “Please? We need to talk.” She walked up behind him and gently entangled her arms around his midsection. She could see he wanted to pull away from her and hide so she shoved one of the little pictures into his hand before turning away and leaving him to his thoughts. He would find her – he always did.

 

He knew she was there watching him but he just couldn’t stop. He couldn’t bare to look at her so he kept training trying to pretend she wasn’t there; until she whispered his name. He couldn’t help it he froze up terrified of what she was going to do to him. As soon as she touched him the urge to pull away was strong but his need for her touch was stronger. He let her touch him confused at the intimate gesture. Shouldn’t she be pounding him into the ground for deciving her like he did? He wanted to turn around and pull her into his arms and kiss her so badly. He resisted and she could pick up on it just like she always did. That’s when he felt her stick something in his hand and back off. He waited until he couldn’t feel her chakra anymore to look at what she handed him and he felt his heart skip a beat. She gave him a picture of his baby. He wasn’t sure what she was trying to say or if she was being cruel but her planned to get to the bottom of it tonight.


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

He really wanted to track her down but figured a trip to Tsunade was in order first. He needed to know about the baby before he approached her. He didn’t want to risk her trust again. She was expecting him when he got there. “She failed. That is your baby growing inside her even as we speak. Now go. Don’t waste time ya’ll have a lot to talk about.” He turned to leave, “and Kakashi, if you hurt her I will sick Naruto on your ass after I get done burying you.” He nodded his understanding and took off like a bat out of hell to find her.

As soon as he was outside he was searching for her chakra but she must have suppressed it wanting to test him. Well then he’d just have to guess correctly and he had a pretty good idea where she was. He headed to the Hatake mansion that was just on the outskirts of the village’s boundaries - to the home that not only was he born in but that both of his parents had died in. He only visited there with her and he had remembered her talking one time about how when he has a family of his own he should move back and make better memories of the home; he had always hoped that just maybe she had been talking about them. He figured if she was there that she had been and hopefully that meant that she felt the same way he did despite everything that had happened.

As soon as he stepped on the property he knew she was here. Now he just had to figure out what room she was hiding in. He considered his bedroom but then just as he was about to open the door he felt something pulling him to the nursery his parents had set up for him and had left in case they ever decided to give him a sibling. Cautiously, he opened up the door to see her looking out the little window as she unconsciously rubbed her belly. “I see you found me Kakashi,” she told him as he stood behind her and pulled her close. His arms encircling her and his hands resting on their child. “I’m sor…” she started to say but was cut off by him kissing her.

“Why?” was all he asked as he finally pulled away not even bothering to recover his face that she hadn’t even paid any mind to being exposed.

“Because I knew we weren’t ready yet. I knew your fears about us and how the village would look at you. I never wanted to hurt you. If I had… I would have…” she stopped while she tried to hold back her tears that were threating to spill over.

“We?” he asked. She laughed at him in that moment. She couldn’t believe that he never considered that she had known from the start that it was him pretending to be Sasuke that night. Never considered how well she knew him and that like her he couldn’t hide from her. “Oh.” He told her as it finally sunk in.

“Oh, Kakashi. You amaze me.” She told him as she leaned further into his embrace. “I never imagined that my jutsu would have failed me. Can we… Will we… Do you even want to…?”

“Yes. We will do it. I don’t care anymore. I was so devastated when I seen you laying there bleeding. I didn’t know if you were gonna make it and then I read that note.” He shook as he had a cold chill. “I didn’t know what to think. I went off the deep end. I didn’t think you knew. I really thought you didn’t want a child. That’s why I had to stop to see Tsunade before coming.” He stuttered. “I needed to make sure this wasn’t some cruel trick you were playing on me to get revenge.” He seen the brief flash of hurt. “No don’t misunderstand. I needed to make sure; even though I knew you would never do that – I needed to make sure that I didn’t hurt you anymore than I already had. I watched you break and shatter in that hospital room and I didn’t know if I’d be able to pick up those pieces.”

“Promise me you’ll go straight to Tsunade and tell her you changed your mind about ANBU. You’ve told me everything you went through when you were younger about those times and I couldn’t bare it if something happened to you while you were out there.” He nodded his head. He could go ahead and start shadowing Tsunade to become the next Hokage. He was glad he had decided to make one other pit stop before coming here. He slowly turned her towards him and taking her hands he slid down to one knee because he just didn’t know if he could wait any longer.

“Sakura Haruno,” he watched her face relishing in the surprise and sparkle in her eyes as she anticipated his question. “I was going to wait to do this once you had taken the time to get over the Sasuke incident. Before things had spiraled out of control,” he let that sink in for a minute. “I have no secrets – you know everything there is to know about me,; including my very dark past. You have been my light for the past two years. Will you do me the honor and not only build a family with me but help me make new memories in this dusty old house.” He pulled out the little black box that held a simple ring. “This ring was my mother’s. Will you honor her and my father by marrying me?”

She couldn’t believe it. He not only proposed to her but he gave her everything she had ever hoped they would have. He had already given her his heart, a child, and now he was making good on another promise he had made her. To live in this house despite the violent memories and to make new ones with her and their child. “Yes, Kakashi.” He quickly kissed away her tears. “I would love nothing more than to do just that.”

THE END


	6. UPDATE

Jul 24 2017  
Hey guys! Just wanted to let everyone know that although I am writing To Be Kissed or Not To Be Kissed and I have also started on a Harry Potter fic (currently only uploaded on FanFiction.net, called The Ugly Truth; I will upload on here shortly) I do plan on expanding this story by writing a sequel. No name as of yet since I wont be starting until my other two are complete. I'll make sure to post on this page any more updates about it as I decide more.  
CKennedy23901


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